Mirror Mirror on the wall

Mirror Mirror on the wall
I wonder who designed the bathroom in my house. I love the bathroom, and hate it. I have one of those large bathtubs set into the corner of the room beneath the skylight. What is not to love?I will tell you. My toilet is sitting right beside the afore mentioned bastion of comfort. Doesn't sound bad at the outset, till the fact that some sadist/ designer framed the walls around the bathtub with bathtub to ceiling mirrors.WHAT?!?While sitting perched upon the porcelain, one is invited to view yourself in all your glory.I have to admit to finding it rather akin to watching a train wreck. You don't want to look, you know you aren't going to like what you see, but still you peek between your fingers and gasp, " WTF?"I don't know about you, but I have this rather remote picture of myself that was forged somewhere in my 20's or 30's that has remained in my head as what I look like, maybe because I voluntarily looked in the mirror for more than a cursory glance more frequently back then. I am always shocked when I inadvertently look to my right in said bathroom and spy that person imitating me in those ghastly mirrors. I suddenly straighten up from my slouch sucking in what should be sucked in, and thrusting out, what at one time didn't need any thrusting. Then comes the critique. I hate myself for it and still I do it. I have to stand in front of that tub before slipping into the blessing of bubbles and soothing hot water and furtively steal glances, taking in just little at a time to avoid being overwhelmed by the whole picture. When did that jiggle get there? What happened to that flat little valley between my hipbones? Who put those circles under my eyes?I can tell you from experience that slipping down into those bubbly depths ( a little quicker than the days when I manage to avoid the looking glass) mercifully beneath mirror level, is a reprieve similar to a governors pardon.After my soak it is easier to face that image. I can see the wear that time and living have found their ways to make their mark on my body. The skin not as supple as it once was, the laugh lines, the roundness that covers areas that were once flat planes, with a more philosophical view.Maybe like my house, I have the lived in look.Broken in, but not worn out.Next on the list of home improvements will be mirror removal, and maybe another lap around the block.